The Mostly True Story of the Coolest MoFo in the World: Me. (The abridged version.)

It started in 1991 when momma Rafler and daddy Rafler had a baby together, they
named him Casey The Well-Endowed. By age 5, Casey was gettin' all the bitches at
Pre-School when he showed off his tricycle, it had tricked out rims, an awesome
stereo system, and hydrolics. The ladies couldn't resist. At age 10 Casey
developed a serious Coke addiction. Coca-Cola was his favorite soda for the
longest time. But then, in his 14 year of life, tragedy struck.The dreaded
diabetus set in and Casey had to switch to diet, no worries though, diet is
quite slimming. At age 15 Casey moved to the chillest state in the Union,
California. He was originally from the most uptight state, Kansas. It was here
that Casey spent the rest of his life up until now, age 20 (almost 21). With the
coolest friends surrounding him, in the coolest state possible, Casey Rafler
became: The Coolest Motherfucker in the World (Who's also well-endowed.) True
story.