Best Moive Ever: The Room

Oh hi reader. I had the pleasure of watching a very wonderful film last night titled The Room. Never before have I witnessed a movie as great as this. I want to share my thoughts of the movie, so here it goes.

To start off, The Room is a dramatic love story about a man named Johnny coming to grips with the harsh reality that his future wife Lisa is cheating on him with his best friend Mark. The film is also filled with subplots involving drug dealers, sex, and psychology. All of these plot points make up what is arguably one of the best dramatic screenplays of all time. I feel no need to elaborate further on the plot seeing as the movie didn't feel the need either.

The acting in this film is top of the line. Leonardo Dicaprio eat your heart out, this films has the best ensemble of dramatic actors I have ever seen. Dicaprio's acting in drama's such as Titanic pale in comparison to the acting in The Room. When director, writer, and star of the film Tommy Wiseau professes his love to Lisa, he does it with the finesse only a highly trained actor could pull off. But acting isn't the only thing Tommy Wiseau is good at.

Without any doubt I can say that this film took place in San Francisco. Shot after shot showed The City by the Bay in all of it's glory. Not a single scene felt like it was filmed on a soundstage in Los Angeles, despite the fact that it apparently was. I praise Wiseau's directing, it truly is like no other.

On Wiseau's writing all I can say is: exquisite. I'm surprised this movie has never won a single award for it's fantastic screenplay. I don't believe I can find a single plot error or inconsistency in the entire film. Even the subplots are well done.

I'm going to end my praise of the movie here, although I can say so much more wonderful things about this stunning film. The only real thing left to say in this blog post is: April Fools!!!!

Goodness this movie was the worst piece of "Hi doggy" doodoo I have ever seen! Not a single damn thing about this movie was good. The movie was filled with a bunch of pointless shots of San Francisco. The acting was worse than the acting in an amateur porno! Not a single scene made any sense and most of the movie was filled with gratuitous amounts of sex scenes. So it probably was an amateur porno I was watching! The soundtrack of the entire film consisted of R&B music. Most scenes had no context to them at all and not a single subplot was resolved or explored further than one scene.

An example of how bad this film was comes in a scene where the characters of Mike (the friend) and Lisa (future wife) have sex. In this scene crappy R&B music is played. In the next scene we see Mike throwing around a football with Wiseau's character for about a minute for NO DESCERNIBLE REASON, then the next scene has Mike and Lisa attempting to go at it again. In one scene we find out that a character named Denny is involved with a drug dealer. The scene has the drug dealer coming to the guys house and threatening him, does anything happen beyond this? Nope! The main characters kick the guy out and then proceed to yell at Denny for about five minutes.

I can go on all day about how terrible this film is. I can't find a single redeemable quality about the film. The only character that made any sense was Lisa's mother who actually called the characters out on their random bullshit, but only half the time.

Now I can sit here and write that this movie is flawed to it's very core, however, I don't know if that would be an honest statement. I believe that any plot can be interesting so long as it's done correctly. Hell, I'm sure someone could make an interesting film about shopping for groceries. Just imagine the commercial, "Leonardo Dicaprio in Aisle Five! BUUUUURRRRNNNT! Directed by Christopher Nolan." But I couldn't tell if The Room had a good plot. It seemed interesting, but I wanted to know more. I wanted explanation as to why everything was happening, because everything happened out of context to something unknown to the audience. I wanted at least one actor to be good. I wanted to watch the movie and say that it was so bad it was good. But I can't, in my right mind, say anything truly good about The Room.

The only way this movie could be enjoyable is if I watched it high, because I'm pretty sure Tommy Wiseau was on something when making it. When I die and inevitably go to Hell, Satan is going to force me to watch this movie over and over again for all eternity! It's that bad of a film and that's all I have to say about that.