If there's one person on the face of this earth that I find more attractive than anyone else, it's me. I look in the mirror each and every day and go, "damn, you are one fiiiine modafuka!" I also look at myself in the mirror and go, "wow, I can't believe you're a total nerd." That's right, anyone who knows me has probably figured out that I like comic books, science fiction, and occasionally fantasy stuff. But how can someone as good looking as myself be something associated with pocket protectors, acne, and gigantic glasses? Oh, that's right, it's because nerds are totally hot now. I'm going to give you a few examples of famous nerds and tell you why they are hot. I also hope to get rid of the common misconception that nerds are losers that embody the "forever alone" meme.
Gentlemen and lesbians, get your google image search on, 'cause I'm about to mention some hot-famous-female-nerds. The most well known right now is probably Tina Fey, former SNL writer and star, she's won a ton of awards, and lives a happy married life with a child and one on the way: she's a self proclaimed nerd. Tricia Helfer, model, was also on the Battlestar Galactica remake series, she also dated another famous male nerd, the handsome Nathan Fillion, star of Firefly, voice of Buck in Halo: ODST, and villain/hero in Dr. Horrible. Lastly, this list would not be complete without metnioning Felicia Day. She isn't incredibly well known yet, but if you're a fan of World of Warcraft and watch a webseries called "The Guild" then you already know who this pretty red head is. Yes, she's a ginger, but damn it, some gingers look really hot.
Ladies and gay guys, this next one's for you... sort of. I can't really claim to know what's physically hot about dudes, except when I'm looking at myself in the mirror, so the men I'm going to mention are more successfully hot rather than physically hot. But in case you ladies want to google search eye candy, look up Ryan Reynolds or somebody, he's technically a nerd for having starred in a bunch of nerdy stuff like X-Men and Green Lantern.
First guy I'm going to mention is Joss Whedon, director of Buffy, Angel, Dr. Horrible, Firefly, and a bunch of other stuff that you've probably heard of but never watched. He gains a spot on this list for his famous cult following (aka nerd following) and being connected to other nerds I've mentioned like Felicia Day and Nathan Fillion.
The next guy you've most definitely heard of, J.J. Abrams. Everyone I know has seen a movie by this guy, I could also put Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, and Christopher Nolan in this paragraph simply because of how successful they are with non-nerds. Most non-nerds have seen Star Wars, E.T., and Close Encounters. What about Inception or The Dark Knight: Nolan films. Watch the new Star Trek movie, how about Super 8, I'm sure you watched LOST or Cloverfield, Alias or Fringe? Those are all Abrams. The non-nerd probably doesn't understand half of these films and shows, but they love watching them and that's my point. These directors have been exposing non-nerds to nerdy shit since the 70s and you non-nerds reading this, you've been enjoying nerdy stuff since the 70s, swallow that and try to make fun of a nerd.
Lastly, I'm going to mention the father of the hot nerd, Bill Gates. Wealthiest man alive for a long time and now in second place, occasionally hitting 3rd. This dude is far more successful than a lot of people will ever be. He made the nerd hot when he modeled in photos with all the computer tech he developed, computer tech you're probably using right now to read this (unless you're a Mac, shame on you). Imagine that bully on the playground making fun of Bill Gates, imagine that football jock picking on Gates in high school, imagine where they're at now. I don't care if that jock went on to be a famous football player or something, he'll never be as successful and happy with life as Bill Gates is, swimming in mountains of cash with his wife and kids.
It's been said that nerds tend to live happier, healthier, and better love lives in the long run. I just gave you a few of examples of this being true. I'm a proud nerd! I'm almost betting you are too, just a closeted one. I have one friend who loves Harry Potter and World of Warcraft, but probably wouldn't call himself a nerd. Another friend who's into computer tech more than the average person and wouldn't call themselves a nerd. I'm here to say, it's okay, you can come out now. Absolutely no one can mess with you anymore. Why? Because nerds are freaken hot now and everybody knows it.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Movie Review: Green Lantern
Yet another comic book movie review. Enjoy!
I'll start off with saying cell phones suck. Or rather, people who leave their cell phones on during movies suck. The audience was quiet and respectful throughout the movie but one lady, one lady, kept her cell phone on and guess what happened... ring, freaken, ring. I wasn't so much annoyed by this and in fact caught myself holding back laughter. It's one thing to talk during a movie because you're a person who likes to hold a conversation it's another to break the cardinal rule of ALL theaters: keep your cellphone off. I laughed because I knew that this lady had to be the stupidest lady in the world for not turning her phone off. Her stupidity was confirmed when she attempted to turn it off and apologized to the people around her because she couldn't do it for some reason then proceeded to muffle the noise. A for effort lady, F because you done fucked up.
In respects to the directing and writing of this film, it was good for the most part. I found a lot of "New Star Wars Trilogy" problems with it, like having characters randomly know each other and be close friends without any indication other than a scene were the two share an inside joke or some memory that happened off screen. Also, it was packed full of CGI, but then again, it kind of had to be in a way. It was still a pretty kickin movie otherwise, especially the last 15 or 20 minutes, those were packed with the awesome stuff you want to see in a Lantern film.
As far as casting goes I pretty much enjoyed it for the most part. I ended up liking Reynolds because he was able to play the part seriously and yet still provide a bit of humor making fun of the things that just seem ridiculous about the character. Blake Lively as Carol Ferris, she was alright, not too forgettable but not too memorable either, despite being the main love interest. Peter Sarsgaard as Hector Hammond, I don't know if the character was supposed to be a creeper, but Sarsgaard certainly pulled off playing him like one, props to this actor. Mark Strong as Sinestro, or should I say Mark Strong as the best part of the entire film, he was super boss. Angela Bassett as Dr. Waller, this lady has won a ton of awards for her acting and yet, I thought she was the worst actor in the film and that isn't a compliment to the other actors it's an insult to her. Tim Robbins was "eh", Jango Fett was a good Abin Sur, and Geoffrey Rush is just a good actor even playing a CGI Tomar-Re. Lastly, Michael Clarke Duncan as Kilowog, I thought the character was going to come off like the "big teddy bear" type that Duncan just seems to be, but his voice was perfect, it had the right amount of snarl and deepness to the it.
The most I can say about Green Lantern as a film is: if you go into looking for bad things, you'll find them. If you go in with lowered expectations but let the movie be itself, you'll be suprised to find that it isn't as bad as critics say it is. It's nowhere near the crap fest that X-Men 3 and Origins was and I ended up liking it better than Superman Returns, which I have a love/hate relationship with. The movie can be really enjoyable if you just want to watch something fun. It's not as mindless as crappy hollywood films that people watch to perpetuate the decline in movie quality, so you should be able to enjoy it without offending anyone.
I give this movie a B, see it if you get the chance. I would have given it a C for make it a rental, but I kind think people should see it for a lot of reasons: 1) You should make your own opinion of it, 2) It has a lot of blockbuster awesomeness, and 3) It needs to make money so an awesome sequel will be made (and trust me, it looks like it could have an awesome sequel.) So that's all I have to say about that, thanks for reading.
I'll start off with saying cell phones suck. Or rather, people who leave their cell phones on during movies suck. The audience was quiet and respectful throughout the movie but one lady, one lady, kept her cell phone on and guess what happened... ring, freaken, ring. I wasn't so much annoyed by this and in fact caught myself holding back laughter. It's one thing to talk during a movie because you're a person who likes to hold a conversation it's another to break the cardinal rule of ALL theaters: keep your cellphone off. I laughed because I knew that this lady had to be the stupidest lady in the world for not turning her phone off. Her stupidity was confirmed when she attempted to turn it off and apologized to the people around her because she couldn't do it for some reason then proceeded to muffle the noise. A for effort lady, F because you done fucked up.
In respects to the directing and writing of this film, it was good for the most part. I found a lot of "New Star Wars Trilogy" problems with it, like having characters randomly know each other and be close friends without any indication other than a scene were the two share an inside joke or some memory that happened off screen. Also, it was packed full of CGI, but then again, it kind of had to be in a way. It was still a pretty kickin movie otherwise, especially the last 15 or 20 minutes, those were packed with the awesome stuff you want to see in a Lantern film.
As far as casting goes I pretty much enjoyed it for the most part. I ended up liking Reynolds because he was able to play the part seriously and yet still provide a bit of humor making fun of the things that just seem ridiculous about the character. Blake Lively as Carol Ferris, she was alright, not too forgettable but not too memorable either, despite being the main love interest. Peter Sarsgaard as Hector Hammond, I don't know if the character was supposed to be a creeper, but Sarsgaard certainly pulled off playing him like one, props to this actor. Mark Strong as Sinestro, or should I say Mark Strong as the best part of the entire film, he was super boss. Angela Bassett as Dr. Waller, this lady has won a ton of awards for her acting and yet, I thought she was the worst actor in the film and that isn't a compliment to the other actors it's an insult to her. Tim Robbins was "eh", Jango Fett was a good Abin Sur, and Geoffrey Rush is just a good actor even playing a CGI Tomar-Re. Lastly, Michael Clarke Duncan as Kilowog, I thought the character was going to come off like the "big teddy bear" type that Duncan just seems to be, but his voice was perfect, it had the right amount of snarl and deepness to the it.
The most I can say about Green Lantern as a film is: if you go into looking for bad things, you'll find them. If you go in with lowered expectations but let the movie be itself, you'll be suprised to find that it isn't as bad as critics say it is. It's nowhere near the crap fest that X-Men 3 and Origins was and I ended up liking it better than Superman Returns, which I have a love/hate relationship with. The movie can be really enjoyable if you just want to watch something fun. It's not as mindless as crappy hollywood films that people watch to perpetuate the decline in movie quality, so you should be able to enjoy it without offending anyone.
I give this movie a B, see it if you get the chance. I would have given it a C for make it a rental, but I kind think people should see it for a lot of reasons: 1) You should make your own opinion of it, 2) It has a lot of blockbuster awesomeness, and 3) It needs to make money so an awesome sequel will be made (and trust me, it looks like it could have an awesome sequel.) So that's all I have to say about that, thanks for reading.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Movie Review: The Hangover Part 2
If I had a movie review for the first Hangover movie I'd tell you to read that so I could finish this blog post within one sentence. But I don't have a review of The Hangover, which means I'm going to have to actually write something for this. I promise it will be short and structured differently.
All I pretty much have to say about the film is: it's The Hangover, just a bit more extreme. Bradley Cooper cusses a lot more, Zach Galifianakis has more socially awkward moments, and Ed Helms... well, I don't want to ruin what happens with his character. I thoroughly enjoyed the film, it was funny, made me laugh. But it was The Hangover, if that drags the movie down for you then so be it, if not, then enjoy the film.
I give this film a solid C, make it a rental. You really don't need to see it in theaters, unless you're a real big fan of the first one, I mean BIG fan. It's also not worth the hassle of dealing with ID Nazis if you look like you're underage. Netflix it later, get it from the library, torrent it, I don't care, go ahead and watch it, it's funny, but you don't have to watch it now. Anyways, thank you for reading.
All I pretty much have to say about the film is: it's The Hangover, just a bit more extreme. Bradley Cooper cusses a lot more, Zach Galifianakis has more socially awkward moments, and Ed Helms... well, I don't want to ruin what happens with his character. I thoroughly enjoyed the film, it was funny, made me laugh. But it was The Hangover, if that drags the movie down for you then so be it, if not, then enjoy the film.
I give this film a solid C, make it a rental. You really don't need to see it in theaters, unless you're a real big fan of the first one, I mean BIG fan. It's also not worth the hassle of dealing with ID Nazis if you look like you're underage. Netflix it later, get it from the library, torrent it, I don't care, go ahead and watch it, it's funny, but you don't have to watch it now. Anyways, thank you for reading.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Movie Review: Super 8
Hello again person reading this blog post. I bring you yet another movie review because I like writing these and I keep seeing movies. Today we'll take a look at J.J. Abrams tribute to Spielberg, Super 8. Let's get this started!
The first thing I want to talk about is audience. More specifically: people who think it's okay to hold a conversation throughout the entire film. Honestly, if you're one of those people, I have a question for you. What is so damn important that you have to talk about it during the entire film? What?! So much work went into making the film, so much work goes into making pretty much every film and you're going to be disrespectful to both the people who made the movie and the people who are watching it by TALKING DURING THE FILM!!!! WHY?! What's so important that you have to ruin a $50,000,011 (for their budget and my movie ticket) experience? Answer me these questions, please! Anyways, now that that's over, let us move on.
Now we'll take a look at the director of the film Steven Spielberg, I mean J.J. Abrams. He's just a wonderful person, ol' J.J. It seems that Abrams can pretty much make anything good (except for Superman, but that's a story for a different day). Granted, the movie did have Abrams' signature camera flares, but it didn't have as much as Star Trek did and just like in that movie, they gave the film a nostalgic feel. Camera flares=nostalgia because older films used to have them unintentionally and Abrams has decided to embrace what was once considered ugly.
I was going to shorten this section on cast because I thought the movie was filled with a bunch of child actors and nobodies, but then I found out that this film is filled with a bunch of child actors and nobodies... that I recognize. All the kids did well in the film even the large kid who said "mint" a lot and Elle Fanning (younger sister of Dakota Fanning). Freaken Bruce Greenwood was somewhere in the film (he was Capt. Pike in the Star Trek movie). Noah Emmerich, who played the friend in The Truman Show, was the military guy (I knew I had recognized him.) Greg Grunberg, who has known J.J. since childhood, had a small cameo as always. That pretty much covers the cast I wanted to talk about.
As a tribute to Spielberg's E.T. and Close Encounters, Super 8 is one awesome film! It knew just the right things to do to pay homage to older works, something Bryan Singer failed at with Superman Returns. I enjoyed so many scenes in the film simply because they reminded me of E.T. and Close Encounters, the themes featured in the movie where very reminiscent of those films, and hell, they even managed to fit in an anti-drug message (kudos Abrams). But the movie wasn't without it's fautls. Because the movie was made to be like E.T. and Close Encounters I felt like it didn't have any suspence. I found myself predicting everything that was going to happen simply because I've seen a Spielberg film or two in my life. This note doesn't drag the film down, you've just got to accept it and enjoy the film otherwise. As a tribute to both amateur film making and Spielberg films this movie is epic, as anything else, it would have been lacking.
All in all, Super 8 was a pretty good film. Popular too. Everyone I know has seen it or will see it. This, of course, means a higher chance of viewing it with people who talk during the film. Please, if you're one of those people, remain silent during the film and if you're a friend of these people, make sure they keep their mouths shut. That being said I give this film a: B-. GASP, a minus!!! Yeah, saying a C for rental would not be giving the movie credit. It's nowhere near as epic as Star Trek was, but it's a pretty good film. If you loved E.T. and/or Close Encounters definitely see it if you get the chance (which is a B), for the rest of you, if you don't see it until it comes out on DvD, I won't hate you, it's okay. That's all I have to say, thank you for reading!
The first thing I want to talk about is audience. More specifically: people who think it's okay to hold a conversation throughout the entire film. Honestly, if you're one of those people, I have a question for you. What is so damn important that you have to talk about it during the entire film? What?! So much work went into making the film, so much work goes into making pretty much every film and you're going to be disrespectful to both the people who made the movie and the people who are watching it by TALKING DURING THE FILM!!!! WHY?! What's so important that you have to ruin a $50,000,011 (for their budget and my movie ticket) experience? Answer me these questions, please! Anyways, now that that's over, let us move on.
Now we'll take a look at the director of the film Steven Spielberg, I mean J.J. Abrams. He's just a wonderful person, ol' J.J. It seems that Abrams can pretty much make anything good (except for Superman, but that's a story for a different day). Granted, the movie did have Abrams' signature camera flares, but it didn't have as much as Star Trek did and just like in that movie, they gave the film a nostalgic feel. Camera flares=nostalgia because older films used to have them unintentionally and Abrams has decided to embrace what was once considered ugly.
I was going to shorten this section on cast because I thought the movie was filled with a bunch of child actors and nobodies, but then I found out that this film is filled with a bunch of child actors and nobodies... that I recognize. All the kids did well in the film even the large kid who said "mint" a lot and Elle Fanning (younger sister of Dakota Fanning). Freaken Bruce Greenwood was somewhere in the film (he was Capt. Pike in the Star Trek movie). Noah Emmerich, who played the friend in The Truman Show, was the military guy (I knew I had recognized him.) Greg Grunberg, who has known J.J. since childhood, had a small cameo as always. That pretty much covers the cast I wanted to talk about.
As a tribute to Spielberg's E.T. and Close Encounters, Super 8 is one awesome film! It knew just the right things to do to pay homage to older works, something Bryan Singer failed at with Superman Returns. I enjoyed so many scenes in the film simply because they reminded me of E.T. and Close Encounters, the themes featured in the movie where very reminiscent of those films, and hell, they even managed to fit in an anti-drug message (kudos Abrams). But the movie wasn't without it's fautls. Because the movie was made to be like E.T. and Close Encounters I felt like it didn't have any suspence. I found myself predicting everything that was going to happen simply because I've seen a Spielberg film or two in my life. This note doesn't drag the film down, you've just got to accept it and enjoy the film otherwise. As a tribute to both amateur film making and Spielberg films this movie is epic, as anything else, it would have been lacking.
All in all, Super 8 was a pretty good film. Popular too. Everyone I know has seen it or will see it. This, of course, means a higher chance of viewing it with people who talk during the film. Please, if you're one of those people, remain silent during the film and if you're a friend of these people, make sure they keep their mouths shut. That being said I give this film a: B-. GASP, a minus!!! Yeah, saying a C for rental would not be giving the movie credit. It's nowhere near as epic as Star Trek was, but it's a pretty good film. If you loved E.T. and/or Close Encounters definitely see it if you get the chance (which is a B), for the rest of you, if you don't see it until it comes out on DvD, I won't hate you, it's okay. That's all I have to say, thank you for reading!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Movie Review: X-Men First Class
So, how about that X-Men franchise. Bryan Singer made a film that caused Marvel movies to be popular, then he made an awesome sequel. But then the franchise was handed over to Brett Ratner who proceeded to shit on the X-Men. Somehow someone got it in their head to make Origins and the entire X-Men movie franchise fell apart. Enter X-Men First Class, your lord and savior. Yes, X-Men First Class was so good it not only redeemed X-Men, it obliterated the concept of a terrible prequel movie, especially after following the proof of concept Origins. Lets jump into this, shall we!
I'm just not going to mention the audience anymore unless I run into an audience that was rude or disrespectful during the film. We'll just move straight to the director of the film, Matthew Vaughn, this guy did an excellent job, all of the shots he set up in the film were mind blowing, every time a mutant did something cool it looked awesome! That being said, Mr. Vaughn is a total tease, he sets up all of this awesomeness, then takes it away almost as fast as he presents it. Guess he wants people to watch the movie over and over again to fully enjoy it... which is something I'd totally do and you should do as well!!!
This movie had some of the best casting I think I've ever seen, which is weird 'cause a lot of them are playing people who were already well casted in the other films. James McAvoy's depiction of Prof. X felt both intelligent and young, I could see Patrick Stewart being this guy as a younger man. Michael Fassbender as Magneto, same impression McAvoy left with Prof. X. Kevin Bacon as Kevin Bacon, everyone in the film is officially at a Bacon 1 on the 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon scale. Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique, no offense to Mrs. Rebecca Romijn O'Connel, but I think Jennifer Lawrence did a far better job as Mystique... and was a bit more prettier. January Jones as Emma Frost, one word for her: hot! Rose Byrne as Moira MacTaggert, forgettable character, but well acted. Nicholas Hoult, made a believable transition from nerd to beast. Oliver Platt as The Villain from 2012, naw, he was one of the good guys in this and I liked him. Ray Wise, I was surpised he was in the movie. Zoe Kravitz, Lenny should have done a version of "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" for the film, like Aerosmith did for his daughter. Caleb Landry Jones as the ginger, they're taking over the world! Lucas Till as Havok, total badass. Edi Gathegi as the token black guy, you can probably guess what happens to him. The rest I don't care to mention, but they did a really good job.
In my opinion this is the best X-Men movie out of all of them. Moment after moment was just packed with so many great things. But it wasn't a perfect movie. One of the worst parts of the film is how much they try to tie it into the main franchise when the movie in general, seems to stand alone. It's one thing to provide imagery related to the rest of the films, like Mystiques looks, it's another thing to rip off an entire scene (first scene of the film) and SPOILER have a cameo by a famous character from the other films END SPOILER. Other than that, the movie was pretty kicken, there's just something about the film that brings you into it and completely makes you feel apart of the experience. I don't know what causes it, all I know is that I usually don't get that feeling in films unless I'm watching something really good or a Christopher Nolan movie (and I love me a Christopher Nolan movie.)
Finally, I give this movie an A+. Watch it, watch it, watch it! Fan of X-Men, watch it! Fan of awesome movies, watch it! Fan of things completely unrelated to the film, watch it! Don't wait for it to come out on DvD, if you haven't seen it, get up, get to the theater, and... WATCH IT!!!! Thank you all for reading.
I'm just not going to mention the audience anymore unless I run into an audience that was rude or disrespectful during the film. We'll just move straight to the director of the film, Matthew Vaughn, this guy did an excellent job, all of the shots he set up in the film were mind blowing, every time a mutant did something cool it looked awesome! That being said, Mr. Vaughn is a total tease, he sets up all of this awesomeness, then takes it away almost as fast as he presents it. Guess he wants people to watch the movie over and over again to fully enjoy it... which is something I'd totally do and you should do as well!!!
This movie had some of the best casting I think I've ever seen, which is weird 'cause a lot of them are playing people who were already well casted in the other films. James McAvoy's depiction of Prof. X felt both intelligent and young, I could see Patrick Stewart being this guy as a younger man. Michael Fassbender as Magneto, same impression McAvoy left with Prof. X. Kevin Bacon as Kevin Bacon, everyone in the film is officially at a Bacon 1 on the 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon scale. Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique, no offense to Mrs. Rebecca Romijn O'Connel, but I think Jennifer Lawrence did a far better job as Mystique... and was a bit more prettier. January Jones as Emma Frost, one word for her: hot! Rose Byrne as Moira MacTaggert, forgettable character, but well acted. Nicholas Hoult, made a believable transition from nerd to beast. Oliver Platt as The Villain from 2012, naw, he was one of the good guys in this and I liked him. Ray Wise, I was surpised he was in the movie. Zoe Kravitz, Lenny should have done a version of "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" for the film, like Aerosmith did for his daughter. Caleb Landry Jones as the ginger, they're taking over the world! Lucas Till as Havok, total badass. Edi Gathegi as the token black guy, you can probably guess what happens to him. The rest I don't care to mention, but they did a really good job.
In my opinion this is the best X-Men movie out of all of them. Moment after moment was just packed with so many great things. But it wasn't a perfect movie. One of the worst parts of the film is how much they try to tie it into the main franchise when the movie in general, seems to stand alone. It's one thing to provide imagery related to the rest of the films, like Mystiques looks, it's another thing to rip off an entire scene (first scene of the film) and SPOILER have a cameo by a famous character from the other films END SPOILER. Other than that, the movie was pretty kicken, there's just something about the film that brings you into it and completely makes you feel apart of the experience. I don't know what causes it, all I know is that I usually don't get that feeling in films unless I'm watching something really good or a Christopher Nolan movie (and I love me a Christopher Nolan movie.)
Finally, I give this movie an A+. Watch it, watch it, watch it! Fan of X-Men, watch it! Fan of awesome movies, watch it! Fan of things completely unrelated to the film, watch it! Don't wait for it to come out on DvD, if you haven't seen it, get up, get to the theater, and... WATCH IT!!!! Thank you all for reading.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Movie Review: On Stranger Tides (Pirates 4)
Hello once again my readers. Today I bring you my review of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. I've got some good things to say and some bad things. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the read.
I've decided to work my way backwards on this one, starting with audience first and working my way to the movie in general. I find that I have a lot more to say at the beginning of these reviews than at the end, so I've decided to switch the order. That way you'll get more content as you read rather than less. That being said, the audience was pretty good, small groups of three here and there and at least they remained quiet.
As far as producing and directing go. Jerry Bruckheimer knows how to produce a good PG-13 Disney movie. I miss Gore Verbinski on directing, though. The main trilogy was epic, this Rob Marshall guy wasn't bad or anything, just... different, that's all I can say.
The cast of this film did wonderful. Johnny Depp was naturally good at his part and so were the rest of the classics, so let's talk about the noobs. Penelope Cruz: I'm just glad to find out she speaks English. This sounds bad I'm sure, but for some reason, back when she dated Tom Cruise, I was under the impression that she only spoke Spanish, I'm glad I was wrong. Sam Claflin as Orlando Bloom, I mean the missionary, he did well and I believed his character was genuine but he was clearly playing the pretty boy of the new film. Finally we get to Ian McShane as Blackbeard, I'm going to start a new paragraph for him because I have a lot to say.
Okay, so I'm a fan of Ian McShane, he did amazing work on Deadwood and was good from what I remember of Kings, but in Pirates.... eh. My main note here is that Ian McShane was playing, well, Ian McShane. Which isn't a bad thing, Ian McShane is awesome, it's just not what I wanted. I realized in this film that every Pirate in the franchise has their own quirks. Barbossa's voice and long-stride walks seem just as unique as Jack Sparrow's drunken slurs and swaying. Davy Jones felt like half man half squid. But Ian McShane just kind of walks on, speaks in his normal British accent and acts like a dick, he did a good job, just not a memorable job.
I enjoyed the movie in general. It was a Pirates film through and through and I loved it for that. It kept me interested, the mythology was awesome as always, but I can't help but ask myself: was a 4th film necessary? What I mean by this is, the 3rd film in the franchise seemed like a good end to the franchise, it closed off loose ends and seemed like a conclusion. Think about it: Bloom and Knightley had an ending, the bad guys were defeated, and Barbossa got the Pearl (he seemed like a far better Captain of it anyways, that and he's the first one the audience sees as the Captain of it).
Although Jack wanted the Pearl like no other, I felt like he didn't really need the Pearl, he had the map to the Foutain of Youth and he was going to search for it. It gave me the impression that everyone would live happy in the end and Jack's character would literally be immortalized becaue one can assume he finds the Fountain, then, when Barbossa dies, he gets his Pearl back and sails the seven seas. Also, one of the major plot points to the 3rd film was the "end of piracy" thing, I felt like that was a theme for the entire film, the end of a franchise represented by the end of the age of pirates. I just assumed it ended with the 3rd film , but I guess I shouldn't assume things.
If the 4th movie is the beginning of another trilogy then I don't think this new trilogy will workout well. The franchise pretty much ended with the 3rd movie and (SPOILER ALERT) the 4th movie concluded Sparrow and Barbossas journey by giving Sparrow the Pearl back and Barbossa a far better ship. (END SPOILER) I'll watch and enjoy a new trilogy, but it'll never be as great as the original.
All in all it was a good film and a good way to spend 2 hours and 17 minutes. If you're a Pirates fan, Depp fan, McShane fan, or Rush fan then I'd give this movie an A for must see. For the rest of you it's a solid B, see it if you get the chance, it's pretty decent.
I've decided to work my way backwards on this one, starting with audience first and working my way to the movie in general. I find that I have a lot more to say at the beginning of these reviews than at the end, so I've decided to switch the order. That way you'll get more content as you read rather than less. That being said, the audience was pretty good, small groups of three here and there and at least they remained quiet.
As far as producing and directing go. Jerry Bruckheimer knows how to produce a good PG-13 Disney movie. I miss Gore Verbinski on directing, though. The main trilogy was epic, this Rob Marshall guy wasn't bad or anything, just... different, that's all I can say.
The cast of this film did wonderful. Johnny Depp was naturally good at his part and so were the rest of the classics, so let's talk about the noobs. Penelope Cruz: I'm just glad to find out she speaks English. This sounds bad I'm sure, but for some reason, back when she dated Tom Cruise, I was under the impression that she only spoke Spanish, I'm glad I was wrong. Sam Claflin as Orlando Bloom, I mean the missionary, he did well and I believed his character was genuine but he was clearly playing the pretty boy of the new film. Finally we get to Ian McShane as Blackbeard, I'm going to start a new paragraph for him because I have a lot to say.
Okay, so I'm a fan of Ian McShane, he did amazing work on Deadwood and was good from what I remember of Kings, but in Pirates.... eh. My main note here is that Ian McShane was playing, well, Ian McShane. Which isn't a bad thing, Ian McShane is awesome, it's just not what I wanted. I realized in this film that every Pirate in the franchise has their own quirks. Barbossa's voice and long-stride walks seem just as unique as Jack Sparrow's drunken slurs and swaying. Davy Jones felt like half man half squid. But Ian McShane just kind of walks on, speaks in his normal British accent and acts like a dick, he did a good job, just not a memorable job.
I enjoyed the movie in general. It was a Pirates film through and through and I loved it for that. It kept me interested, the mythology was awesome as always, but I can't help but ask myself: was a 4th film necessary? What I mean by this is, the 3rd film in the franchise seemed like a good end to the franchise, it closed off loose ends and seemed like a conclusion. Think about it: Bloom and Knightley had an ending, the bad guys were defeated, and Barbossa got the Pearl (he seemed like a far better Captain of it anyways, that and he's the first one the audience sees as the Captain of it).
Although Jack wanted the Pearl like no other, I felt like he didn't really need the Pearl, he had the map to the Foutain of Youth and he was going to search for it. It gave me the impression that everyone would live happy in the end and Jack's character would literally be immortalized becaue one can assume he finds the Fountain, then, when Barbossa dies, he gets his Pearl back and sails the seven seas. Also, one of the major plot points to the 3rd film was the "end of piracy" thing, I felt like that was a theme for the entire film, the end of a franchise represented by the end of the age of pirates. I just assumed it ended with the 3rd film , but I guess I shouldn't assume things.
If the 4th movie is the beginning of another trilogy then I don't think this new trilogy will workout well. The franchise pretty much ended with the 3rd movie and (SPOILER ALERT) the 4th movie concluded Sparrow and Barbossas journey by giving Sparrow the Pearl back and Barbossa a far better ship. (END SPOILER) I'll watch and enjoy a new trilogy, but it'll never be as great as the original.
All in all it was a good film and a good way to spend 2 hours and 17 minutes. If you're a Pirates fan, Depp fan, McShane fan, or Rush fan then I'd give this movie an A for must see. For the rest of you it's a solid B, see it if you get the chance, it's pretty decent.
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